Barnstaple & District Men's Skittles League

All the latest fixtures, results and news.

LEAGUE RESULTS

THE TRIBUTE ALE

BARNSTAPLE AND DISTRICT

 MENS SKITTLES LEAGUE

RESULTS OCTOBER 15TH 2018

DIV 1

Bogeymen 560 Goodly Knights 491

Exeter Bibbers 471 Goodleigh Perishers 449

Demons 432 Goodleigh Lads 448

Fox Boys 530 Kneaders Pairs 482

S and T 435 Mad Hatters 418

Ringers 431 Plough Pullers 415

Odds and Ends 417 Loxhore 427

DIV 2

King Pins 458 Muddiford Stars 381

Yarnscombe 428 Stoke Stars 412

Amen Corner 366 Nippitts 338

Barnstaple Cc 413 Tawstock Rangers 417

Nokkers 411 Three Pigeons B 371

Lovepants 455 Black Widows 448

Shirwell 445 Barn Bombers 470

DIV 3

Heroic Failures 419 Old Guys Drule 399

Newton Boys 389 Middlemen 404

C Team 432 Hit Men 393

Rising Sons 419 No Beer Just Coke 409

A Team 402 Wing and a Prayer 417

Mounties 495 No Hopers 515

Sarnians 397 Lumberjacks 366

A Team 428 Middlemen 388

DIV 4

Loxhore Lynchpins 387 Ebberley Rejects 421

Pheasant Pluckers N/A Bye N/A

Crankers 490 BBC Boys 428

Sub Contractors 385 Lionhearts 412

Landkey Lads 438 Rockafellas 440

Diplomats 358 The Knights 350

Regency 383 Flintstones 402

DIV 5

Barn Bangers 384 Hughies Heroes 443

Raiders 375 Thirsty Farmers 398

Plough Boys 367 Jokers 366

Assorted Peanuts 365 J R Terriers 459

X Men 439 Excels 406

Tristars 513 Plough Inn St 420

Bye N/A Untouchables N/A

DIV 6

Taste The Rainbow 442 U S B C 443

Jesters 407 Country Lads 383

Bye N/A Alley Moles N/A

Pin Heads 425 Foxhunters 398

Castle Knights 456 Rollers 456

Dodos 342 Goodleigh Vipers 386

Tarka Terrors 328 Vultures 316

High Lads, how be doing, or how’s it gwain, what another fantastic Week we have for you, but I will start by saying, I have just joined a gym this week, oh my conkers with false teeth and a gigantic nose, myself and me brother went for an induction today, I said to him it will only be a light workout to see what we are capable of and to see how we move, how wrong was I, 1st we went on the cross trainer, just for a warm up, oh my donuts what I can’t eat anymore, when I got off I could barely speak, me legs felt like jelly, then it was onto the next one, I won’t go on, but put it this way, when I jumped in the shower, I couldn’t even pick up the soap, anyway here we go.

High Team scores, Yes, Bogeymen are at it again by knocking over a humpity rumpity bumpity booooooom! 560 to beat Goodly Knights 491, then wait for it, guess who? Yes! Fox Boys have smashed out, no you dirty buggers! Ha! ha! I mean knocked over a to me to you, said winnie the poo look at that they all fall down 530 to beat Kneaders Pairs 482, then No Hopers have bombed a few I’m off to the loo cause I can’t believe it 515 to beat Mounties on their own alley 495, then Tristars have hit a here we go, there they go, oh my word they all fall down 513 to beat Plough Inn St by 93 pins 464 wow.

High Individual scores, 96 P Dymond Bogeymen, 88 A Harris Bogeymen, 87 B Boulton Bogeymen, 86 D Spear Goodly Knights and Vice President, M Ferne Fox Boys, 82 P Osment Fox Boys, B Jarvis No Hopers, 81 J Moore Crankers and on my Team, M Prowse Tristars, R Kingdon Mounties, R Balment Stoke Stars, 79 D Baddick Goodly Knights, M Toms Fox Boys, 77 B Williams Rollers, 76 R Hancock Odds and Ends, L Cole Exeter Bibbers, 75 S Hammett Black Widows, D Hatcher Rollers, 74 S Davies Lovepants, K Toze J R Terriers, M Down Castle Knights, 73 P Jeffery Yarnscombe, J Dibble Mounties, I Davey Goodleigh Lads, A Ford Kneaders Pairs, 72 D Knott Tristars, D Kingdon Mounties, I Wigley Goodleigh Lads, J Passmore Lionhearts, 71 B Hayman Rockafellas, A Richards and P Huxtable J R Terriers, 70 G Moore Crankers and on my Team, L Winsor Plough Inn St, N Willoughby X Men, L Hewer Pin Heads.

High spares, D Spear Goodly Knights and Vice President, 24 P Dymond Bogeymen.

High recorded rubs, 108 Goodly Knights, 107 and 105 Bogeymen, 102 Fox Boys, 101 Lovepants.

I would like to congratulate Tarka Terrors for winning their 1st game since I have been the Fixture Secretary, I am in my 4th season and I have been waiting along time for this moment, so thank you Tarka Terrors, I have met this Team, they have so much fun and enjoyment, it is lovely to see, so well done to them.

A police officer stops a minivan full of elderly ladies being driven by an old gentleman because they’re only going 25 mph, stopping the mid-day traffic.

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The policeman asks the driver why is he going so slow.

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“Well that’s the speed limit, isn’t it! There was a sign saying 25 and everything!” the driver defends himself.

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The policeman sighs, “No, sir, that’s the number of the highway you’re on. It has nothing to do with the speed limit.”

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“Oh, so that’s what it means…” says the driver, looking shocked.

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The officer looks at the rest of the van and notices the grannies are looking somewhat frozen and stiff.

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“What’s up with the ladies?” he asks the driver.

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“Um…” the driver scratches his head, “you see, we just got off highway 150…”

A guy saves a frog from a forest fire. The frog turns out to be a magical frog, and is very grateful to the man for having saved its life. So the frog offers to grant him three wishes.

The man says, “Great. So I want:

1. Lifelong access to any cinema,

2. I want to be 10 years younger and

3. I want a highway that goes straight from here to Hawaii.

“I’m happy to help you but the third wish is really difficult. You'll have to wish for something else instead of that third wish,” says the frog.

“OK,” agrees the man reluctantly, “in that case I’d like to finally understand women.”

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The frog looks at him for a while: “And should the highway be a three-lane or a four-lane one?”

A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

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Snowballs.

Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"

Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Patrick: "What school?"