Barnstaple & District Men's Skittles League

All the latest fixtures, results and news.

LEAGUE RESULTS

THE TRIBUTE ALE

BARNSTAPLE AND DISTRICT MENS

 SKITTLES LEAGUE

RESULTS DECEMBER 3RD 2018

DIV 1

Loxhore 428 Goodly Knights 409

Plough Pullers 363 Goodleigh Perishers 391

Mad Hatters 440 Goodleigh Lads 363

S and T 454 Fox Boys 399

Ringers 470 Demons 443

Odds and Ends 430 Exeter Bibbers 470

Kneaders Pairs 406 Bogeymen 399

DIV 2

Barn Bombers 454 Muddiford Stars 450

Black Widows 328 Stoke Stars 343

Three Pigeons B 412 Nippitts 404

Nokkers 336 Barnstaple Cc 366

Lovepants 443 Amen Corner 461

Shirwell 444 Yarnscombe 433

Tawstock Rangers PP King Pins PP

DIV 3

Lumberjacks 436 Old Guys Drule 401

No Hopers 463 Middlemen 422

Wing and a Prayer 412 Hit Men 371

A Team 416 Rising Sons 399

Mounties 462 C Team 476

Sarnians 416 Newton Boys 393

No Beer Just Coke 501 Heroic Failures 450

DIV 4

Flintstones 449 Ebberley Rejects 446

The Knights N/A Bye N/A

Rockafellas 425 BBC Boys 380

Landkey Lads 441 Sub Contractors 467

Diplomats 371 Crankers 360

Regency 381 Pheasant Pluckers 360

Lionhearts 441 Loxhore Lynchpins 421

DIV 5

Untouchables 427 Hughies Heroes 418

Plough Inn St 355 Thirsty Farmers 400

Excels 456 Jokers 423

X Men 404 Assorted Peanuts 416

Tristars 457 Plough Boys 450

Bye N/A Raiders N/A

J R Terriers 438 Barn Bangers 397

DIV 6

Vultures 350 U S B C 359

Goodleigh Vipers 386 Country Lads 401

Rollers 406 Alley Moles 371

Castle Knights 465 Pin Heads 440

Dodos N/A Bye N/A

Tarka Terrors 294 Jesters 337

Foxhunters 429 Taste The Rainbow 441

Welcome to another fantastic week, the last game of the season, I don’t know about you, but it has gone quick for me. As most of you know, I am a big Liverpool fan, did you watch the game on Sunday, what a goal by Divock Origi, was it a goal, was it not a goal, that is what I was thinking, it was a strange one thanks to Jordan Pickford, but come on the Reds and Look out Manchester City, any way lads lets get on with the important things, here we go.

High Team score, No Beer Just Coke are on fire this season by hitting a bonkers wonkers poke them in the plonkers 501 to beat Heroic Failures 450.

High Individual scores, 92 B Vincent Excels, 86 R Fenn C Team, 82 P Scott Flintstones, 77 C Williams Landkey Lads, N Willoughby X Men, 76 P Clarke Heroic Failures, D Kingdon Mounties, M Huxtable Sub Contractors, M Ellis Assorted Peanuts, 75 P Jeffery Yarnscombe, D Shelton Taste The Rainbow, 74 J Dibble Mounties, 72 N Dennis Jokers, D Watts No Beer Just Coke, A Lane Heroic Failures, K Latham Ringers, F Parsley Ebberley Rejects, 71 A Kingdon Exeter Bibbers and committee member, S Cole Exeter Bibbers, K Toze J R Terriers, M Dennis Amen Corner, H Burley Barn Bombers, 70 P Murch Fox Boys, C Rainey Mad Hatters, M Symons Demons, S Phillips Goodly Knights, A Kingdon Landkey Lads, S Passmore Country Lads, P Bennett Tristars.

High spares, 22 J Tapp Lumberjacks, 22 and 21 M Ellis C Team.

High recorded rub, 101 Amen Corner.

Could I remind all Captains, when filling out the score cards that you write in each players 1st Initial and their surname, along with scores wrote in correctly with the final score at the bottom of each Team and most importantly make sure your Team name is at the top, don’t forget the time you started and your Division at the top, I had one card back and on one side it had each individual scores down the side but no names next to them not even any Initials, how does that happen and how simple is it to fill out a card, thank you and much appreciated, Shaun.

Does anyone have some nice balls, let me put it another way, does anyone know where I could get hold of some skittle balls, Instow Yacht Club are looking for some to buy, if you know of someone or you have some hanging about, please let myself know, thank you, Shaun, Fixture Secretary, you will find my contact details on the front of your skittle books.

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 17?", he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?". "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years". "I remember that too", she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today!"

A rich businessman enters a bar and announces he’s looking for a good deal. Before long an old man approaches him with an old lamp. “Excuse me sir, would you like to buy this very rare lamp?” “For how much?” The businessman asks. “Ten Thousand dollars. A steal, if you ask me. It is worth much more” The old man says.

“Ten Thousand dollars?" The businessman shouts, getting angry at the audacity of the old man, but the other interrupts him. “I understand your thoughts” the old man says quickly, “ but you see, this is a magic lamp. It has a genie inside it. Three wishes per person, no less!” “Oh, really? Show me, then” The businessman says mockingly.

“Well, of course. I saved my last wish just for this” the old man smiles as he rubs the lamp. To the businessman’s surprise, a genie really pops out! “What is your third wish, master?” The genie says majestically. The old man grins at the businessman’s mesmerized face before making his last wish. “A mug of coffee, please.”

The genie snaps his fingers, and a mug of coffee appears before the old man. The businessman stares slack-jawed at the mug as the genie disappears. The old man smiles. “Well?”

“I’ll buy it” The businessman replies immediately, writing him a check, taking the lamp and leaving before the old man can change his mind.

After getting home, the businessman runs the lamp hopefully, and sure enough, the genie appears. “What is your first wish, mas-” The genie starts, before being interrupted by the businessman.

“I wish for all the money I gave the old man, as well as a new yacht, a mansion and a limousine!” The businessman blurts out quickly. The genie stares at the businessman for a few seconds, then says awkwardly:

“M-my apologies master, I only serve coffee and tea.”

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.