Barnstaple & District Men's Skittles League

All the latest fixtures, results and news.

LEAGUE RESULTS

THE TRIBUTE ALE

BARNSTAPLE AND DISTRICT MENS

 SKITTLES LEAGUE

RESULTS MARCH 25TH 2019

DIV 1

Goodly Knights 451 Loxhore 425

Goodleigh Perishers 490 Plough Pullers 480

Goodleigh Lads 386 Mad Hatters 404

Fox Boys 477 S and T 468

Demons 385 Ringers 435

Exeter Bibbers 487 Odds and Ends 360

Bogeymen 522 Kneaders Pairs 475

DIV 2

Muddiford Stars 436 Barn Bombers 462

Stoke Stars 468 Black Widows 477

Nippitts 488 Three Pigeons B 435

Barnstaple Cc 395 Nokkers 409

Amen Corner 374 Lovepants 348

Yarnscombe 401 Shirwell 401

King Pins 418 Tawstock Rangers 374

DIV 3

Old Guys Drule 433 Lumberjacks 406

Middlemen 375 No Hopers 383

Hit Men 427 Wing and a Prayer 468

Rising Sons 394 A Team 406

C Team 349 Mounties 398

Newton Boys 428 Sarnians 385

Heroic Failures 420 No Beer Just Coke 400

DIV 4

Ebberley Rejects 409 Flintstones 438

Bye N/A The Knights N/A

BBC Boys 470 Rockafellas 412

Sub Contractors 366 Landkey Lads 402

Crankers 441 Diplomats 425

Pheasant Pluckers 431 Regency 431

Loxhore Lynchpins 371 Lionhearts 433

DIV 5

Hughies Heroes 324 Untouchables 335

Thirsty Farmers 474 Plough Inn St 452

Jokers 446 Excels 388

Assorted Peanuts 398 X Men 374

Plough Boys 356 Tristars 383

Raiders N/A Bye N/A

Barn Bangers 419 J R Terriers 389

DIV 6

U S B C 366 Vultures 371

Country Lads 345 Goodleigh Vipers 361

Alley Moles 416 Rollers 456

Pin Heads 376 Castle Knights 393

Bye N/A Dodos N/A

Jesters 420 Tarka Terrors 375

Taste The Rainbow 463 Foxhunters 456

Welcome to the Final Week Lads, I hope you have had a good season and that I have done well for you, if you want me to I am happy to carry on next season, I can’t believe that I have been doing this fantastic job for four years now, well any way let’s get on with the exciting part.

Division 1 Champions S and T, Runners up Exeter Bibbers, Division 2 Champions Barn Bombers, Runners up Amen Corner, Division 3 Champions Wing and a Prayer, Runners up No Hopers, Division 4 Champions Diplomats, Runners up Lionhearts, Division 5 Champions Tristars, Runners up J R Terriers, Division 6 Champions Castle Knights, Runners up U S B C.

If you are tying for a position, this is worked out through rule 13 in your skittle books, thank you.

High Team score, Bogeymen have finished the season with a wop bam boogie look at them boys go down 522 to beat Kneaders Pairs 475.

High Individual score, 97 P Dymond Bogeymen, 85 M Passmore Kneaders Pairs, 84 M H Kiff Nippitts, D Baddick Goodly Knights, 81 N Dennis Jokers, 78 B Boulton Bogeymen, 77 G Ward Exeter Bibbers, M Ryan Black Widows, 76 R Morgan BBC Boys and League Secretary, D Hughes Goodleigh Perishers, 75 R Curtis Plough Inn St, T Wheaton Taste The Rainbow, S Swanson Jesters, W Davie Stoke Stars, 74 P Osment Fox Boys, A Norden Plough Pullers and Committee member, 73 M Kenwood Thirsty Farmers, 72 A Phillips Mad Hatters, J Baker Goodleigh Perishers, 71 R Chapple Goodly Knights and League Chairman, L Winsor Plough Inn St, D Farr Kneaders Pairs, E Beer and M McManus Exeter Bibbers, T Down Nippitts, 70 D Willoughby Plough Pullers.

High spares, we have a maximum of 27 and that was scored by Mark Kiff of Nippitts, 26 A Barrow S and T, P Dymond Bogeymen, 25 A Trawin Ringers, 23 T Neve Rollers, 21 G Maynard Goodleigh Perishers, 21 L Rogers Plough Pullers.

High recorded rubs, 117 Bogeymen, 115 Landkey Lads from last Week, 103 Goodleigh Perishers.

If you have been lucky enough to win your League, you will be automatically put into the Champions of Champions Semi Finals, this is being held on Finals day, which is on the 6th April, you will get a programme posted to the captains house with the time, it will probably be about 3pm, if you win your game you will then be in the Final which is normally be about 5.30pm.

Finals day is on the 6th April start time 12pm till late please come along, just because you are not in any finals doesn’t mean to say you can’t come along, there will be a competition alley which any one who is a registered player can play, there is a cash prize, there is a food van and the beer is at a reasonable price, also Rob Morgan our League Secretary will be there selling tickets for our Annual Dinner and Presentation Evening, they cost £22.

Our Dinner and Presentation Evening is on the 3rd May at 7.30, there is a guest Comedian and impressionist, so please come along.

This elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest. "It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favours," continued the old man. "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest. "Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?" "Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?".

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mum on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mum sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mum and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mum, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work." The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."