Barnstaple & District Men's Skittles League

All the latest fixtures, results and news.

LEAGUE RESULTS

THE TRIBUTE ALE

BARNSTAPLE AND DISTRICT MENS

 SKITTLES LEAGUE

RESULTS 16TH APRIL 2018

DIV 1

Plough Pullers 423 Loxhore 392

Small and Tidmas 427 Goodleigh Lads 403

Goodleigh Perishers 407 Mad Hatters 416

Goodly Knights 425 Shirwell 407

Exeter Bibbers 531 Demons 415

Ringers 478 Bogeymen 458

Kneaders Pairs 388 Dawns Extinguishers 397

Loxhore 389 Goodly Knights 396

DIV 2

Woodpeckers 393 Yarnscombe 375

Heroic Failures 408 Stoke Stars 428

Barn Bombers 440 Amen Corner 448

Muddiford Stars 431 Odds and Ends 375

Black Widows 320 Lovepants 396

Nokkers 374 King Pins 355

Fox Boys 482 Nippitts 458

DIV 3

No Hopers 398 Tawstock Rangers 455

Lumberjacks 420 No Beer Just Coke 396

Rising Sons 430 Rockafellas 356

C Team 395 A Team 446

Barnstaple Cc 429 Three Pigeons B 428

Hit Men 465 Newton Boys 489

Diplomats 423 Middlemen 433

DIV 4

Pheasant Pluckers 429 Old Guys Drule 464

Regency 330 Flintstones 363

Landkey Lads 441 Wing and a Prayer 462

Mounties 464 Thirsty Farmers 449

Sarnians 393 J R Terriers 390

Crankers 474 BBC Boys 521

Lionhearts 404 Phoenix 405

DIV 5

X Men 401 Raiders 382

Plough Inn St 359 The Knights 405

Bye N/A Ebberley Rejects N/A

Untouchables 394 Alley Moles 413

Assorted Peanuts 399 Jokers 398

Tristars 486 Plough Boys 470

Loxhore Lynchpins 410 Foxhunters 386

Hughies Heroes 392 Sub Contractors 349

DIV 6

Rollers 373 Excels 381

Vultures 411 Castle Knights 351

Jesters 397 Country Lads 375

Pertys Playboys Won Ebberley Arms Lost

Dodos 348 Barn Bangers 413

Taste The Rainbow 425 U S B C 445

Tarka Terrors N/A Bye N/A

Goodleigh Vipers 404 Pin Heads 362

Well then chaps, the last Week of this season, I don’t know about you chaps but I have enjoyed every minute of this year, especially having this fantastic job, I must be doing ok, I have been asked to do the fixtures for the summer League, which I have already done, if you are in the summer League, they should be out this Week, with the first game on the 23rd of April, I am not involved with the running of the summer league, I do like to have a bit of time off and also I need to get things organised for the winter League, that’s if you want me to carry on, any way here we go, we have a lot to get through and it is very exciting.

Highest Team scores, Exeter Bibbers and Champions of Division 1 for the 3rd Year running have scored a Commonwealth Gold 531 to beat Demons 415, then BBC Boys have scored a spontaneous 521 to beat my Team Crankers 474.

High Individual scores, 81 P Ackland Lovepants, 79 L Cole Exeter Bibbers, 78 K Jarrett Taste The Rainbow, 77 R Morgan BBC Boys and Committee Member, 77 D Kingdon Mounties, 76 S Cunningham Crankers and Fixture Secretary, 76 G Ward Exeter Bibbers, 75 C Morgan BBC Boys, S Whipp Plough Boys, 75 T Wills Amen Corner, 74 J Sanders Bogeymen, M H Kiff Nippitts, 73 K Latham Ringers, B Boulton Bogeymen, P Wilkie Amen Corner, M Phillpotts Old Guys Drule, 72 S Ayre Ringers, S Herniman A Team, T Clarke Newton Boys, A Stribling Wing and a Prayer, K Dallyn Thirsty Farmers, 71 S Davies Lovepants, J Ford Newton Boys, J Shutt Wing and a Prayer, 70 A James Tristars, N Bunting Alley Moles, J Tapp Lumberjacks, S Potter Thirsty Farmers, P Harris Old Guys Drule, G Smith X Men.

High Spares, 26 S Herniman A Team, 21 S Davies Lovepants.

High recorded rub, 112 Exeter Bibbers.

This is moment you have all been waiting for, Division 1 Champions Exeter Bibbers, runners up Small and Tidmas, Division 2 Champions Odds and Ends, runners up Fox Boys, Division 3 Champions Tawstock Rangers, runners up Three Pigeons B, Division 4 Champions Old Guys Drule, runners up Mounties, Division 5 Champions The Knights, runners up Ebberley Rejects, Division 6 Champions Excels, runners up Barn Bangers, Well done and congratulations, can all Teams who have won their League be at the Ex Servicemen’s Club for 13.30 this coming Saturday 21st April so you can play in the Champions of Champions, Thank You Shaun.

If your Team are tying at the Top or bottom, there position has been decided by rule 13 in your skittle books, so all done fairly.

Bogeymen only played with 7 players which is why their score is probably lower than it should be.

We still need a League Secretary, Colin Withey is retiring after 10 Years, on behalf of the Barnstaple Men’s Skittles League,

we Thank You Colin for all your hard work and dedication, if you are interested, please come to the A G M on the 23rd of May, 7.30pm at the Ex Servicemen’s Club or just let one of the committee members know, we are also in need of committee members, also you need to send at least one person to the A G M to collect your registration forms for next season, don’t for get, otherwise you might not get entered, any way chaps, good luck for next season.

Don’t forget Finals Day this coming Saturday at the Ex Servicemen’s Club, 12 midday until late, yes it goes on all Day, we have a Competition Alley where you can win some cash and a chance to get into the Singles Champions of Champions Final, so you see you don’t have to be in a Final, we have got a chip van out the front, the drinks are reasonable, we are also selling tickets for presentation evening, so come along and enjoy yourself, bring the wife or even some friends more the merrier, see you there.

A guy walks into a bar with a 10 ft. alligator. The bartender tells the man, “No, no, you can’t bring that thing in here.”

The man say’s, “Oh, it’s okay. The alligators tame. I can prove it.” So the man picks up the alligator and puts it on the counter. Then he pulls down his pants and puts his package in the alligator’s mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 10 minutes the man says, “See, he’s totally tame. Does anyone else want to try it?”

A man in the back say’s, “Yeah, I’ll try it. But I don’t know if I can keep my mouth open for that long though.”

This guy gets a parrot but it's got a bad attitude and foul vocabulary. He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer door. The parrot steps out and says, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness." The guy's astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "By the way, may I ask - what did the chicken do?"

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" the woman said embarrassingly. "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the lady responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"